Entry: welcome to ronworld! Jan 6, 2004



Welcome to R O N - W O R L D ! ! !  A few days ago I didn't even know what a BLOG was, but thanks to a suggestion by my friend "ID", I'm the proud propogator of more useless nonsense on the internet!  "ID" thought it was a good idea, so it must be so!  


The horizontal line above is intended to section off the stupid introductary text from the really substantial stuff, like my personal thoughts.

So why am I creating this?  The truth is I'm not getting laid, and that frees up a lot of time in my schedule.  I was also recently laid OFF which reeeally frees up time.

Getting laid off was a great way to ring in 2004.  Of course there is a great sense of loss, but fortunately I've already been through the five phases of acceptance: 

Springer
Spanish Channel
Oprah
Montel
and back to the Spanish Channel

The one advantage of TV over the internet is there are never pop-up adds on tv.  You know when there is going to be a string of commercials, and the remote pretty much takes care of that.  For you TIVO people, there is even less effort required to skirt being inundated with advertising, but on the other hand, you are missing out on some really good Spanish Channel moments that regular tv watchers are privy to during those remote control flip arounds.

I really hate pop-up ads.  One of the reasons I picked BLOGDRIVE to host my ramblings is that they promise not to throw pop-ups in the face of the many hundreds of thousands of people whose inquiring minds will no doubt be prying into these insightfull paragraphs.

Pop-up blocking software is not enough.  I am looking for "Pop-up Stalker"...this software will find out who the jerks creating the popups are, and then contract local people in their area to stalk these jerks where they live and annoy the hell out of them by shoving big cue-card sized signs in their face offering low mortages, venerial web cams, and penis enlargements everytime they dare appear in public.  This would create lots of jobs for laid off people like me, while imparting  a sort of justice, and giving a finer sense of balance to the universe.....maybe it would be a sort of "New Deal". 

I had a vivid dream a few nights ago, that I had sex with Madonna.  She jumped on top of me and was being very aggressive.  I was enjoying the sense of initiative my subconsicous granted her likeness with. 

After some really arousing foreplay in which she played rough by wrestling me and slapping my face we started to go at it like wild animals in heat.  There was no condom used, and all was going well until I became aware of that fact. 

There I was, fully penetrating the most intimate if not the most travelled part of one of my favorite artists, and all of the sudden the hassle of safe sex ruins the moment.  I mean, it's a freakin dream...what is my subconscious trying to do...torture me?  I didn't have a condom with me in the dream, and after much contemplation which ranged from the thrill of the moment to the thrill of the bragging rights that would forever follow the moment, I decided I HAD to pull out....ugh!  Shorty after that I woke up, shut off the alarm clock and went to my last day at work....what an anticlimactic way to end a career.   

Well that's the end of this entry.  Like a great date, it went really fast and was over before you knew it.  Don't worry, follow ups are inevitable.  Later. 













 




 

 


 

   1 comments

Id's Concubine
January 6, 2004   07:59 PM PST
 
Genius stuff. You, sir, are a work of art. (Art Garfunkel. Art Carney. Etc.)

Seriously, kudos to you, Ron LivingRoom (formerly of RonLivingRoomandtheCouchPotatoes).

Leave a Comment:

Name


Homepage (optional)


Comments